Juice Feast Day 13

Monday, January 30, 2012

The evenings are not treating me well, my friends.

By the time I put in a full day of homeschooling, work, business, feeding everybody else, and pet care including a new puppy (yeah!  Did I mention we got a puppy too?!), in the evening I am tired and do not want to face an hour or more of juicing-related tasks.  I want to mentally check out and stay that way until morning.  Yes, I do.  It's true.

My husband is on day 4 of his juicing and he is not handling it that well.  I think his state of mind has really messed mine up as well.  Not good.

Truly, I'm not physically hungry.  Physically I feel fine and the juice seems to be treating me well.  It's the mental game that's the real challenge for me.

Earlier this evening I had to shop at Walmart.  By the time I was into the checkout line I was having fantasies of shoving frosted sugar cookies and M&Ms and goldfish crackers into my mouth.  All at once.

That makes for a real pretty picture...doesn't it?  :)

My hope is to eventually exit my juice feast/fast 20-30 pounds lighter than I started, and to feel relaxed and in control of my eating---not like a starved junk-a-holic!  So, this is not the time, and I am going to be fine.  I just have to continue, hour by hour, day by day.

Some of the thoughts plaguing my mind tonite:

I've been thinking about the foods I might not eat much any more after I'm done.  No more fresh warm bread with melted butter?!  No more birthday cake?  No more pizza?  No more cheese?

And if I decide that I don't have to swear off those things entirely, on what basis will I make exceptions?  How often will I allow myself to swerve off of the normal everyday plan?

And if I swerve off, will it just be a slippery slope?  Will I lose the weight and gain it all back again?  If so, should I even try?

How much of my life am I willing to devote to eating and trying to control my weight?

Last time I got on a roll I found that in the long run I wasn't willing to devote the time needed to maintain my weight loss.  What will be different now?

Will I have pushed myself so hard with all of these days/weeks/nightly hours of juicing that I'll just sit and eat a big fat bowl of granola while watching a movie every night?

I don't know.  This is my brain off drugs, off sugar, off grains, off gluten, off everything except fruit and veggie juice for the last nearly two weeks.  Tune in tomorrow to see if my state of mind improves!

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